[ His glass full, he didn't hesitate to take a rather large and indelicate drink from it. The goal was to numb it all, not to forget it but to at least make it tolerable. ]

He did, he really did.

[ God, what a mess, another deep pull from the drink in his hand before setting the now empty glass down. Pacing himself? Who cared about that right now, it wasn't necessary. ]

You know, I was happy that we were all back together again too and now...

[ There was something of a frustrated snort as he shoved the glass back in Abbacchio's direction. ]

...now I feel like it's all the same shit, not knowing if one of us is just going to, you know.

[ He didn't like it, he didn't like the idea that he might lose Abbacchio again too. Keep it together, Mista, keep it together. ]

I should have tried harder, I should have gotten a job like I was supposed to so that we could've gotten the house we all talked about when we first got here. Maybe if I'd tried harder...this wouldn't be happening again...

[ It didn't matter that Abbacchio hadn't been here when they'd talked about getting a house. He'd been included in there somewhere, the idea that if the others could come back so could he.

He was supposed to help protect them all and he'd failed more than anyone else; that sting in his eyes nagging at him even more. ]

Fuck!