[ That little pleased sound was enough to make him continue playing with her hair, quiet and thoughtful as he held her and considered her words. He knew that she was young when she died, but she'd had a long time to think about things, hadn't she?
Wise beyond her years but still a tragic figure. It was enough to make him think about his own past, things that had brought him to where he was now and how things had played out back home. ]
I would either be dead or still in prison, if it weren't for someone intervening...
[ It was true the more that he thought about it. He could have died that night that he stepped in to help that girl, he could have just been left in prison to rot if Bucciarati hadn't seen something in him worth redeeming. He could have died there too, the possibilities were endless and he felt his chest tighten with anxiety as he considered just how she felt, there were so many more unknown factors for her... ]
...if it'd been the other things, I mean. I don't want to say that I'm glad anything happened to you, what he did makes me sick to my stomach and you didn't deserve it. But for what it's worth, I'm glad to have met you too, you know?
I'm glad it wasn't the other things for you, either...
[She stays burrowed against him a little longer, but then eventually draws back from his shoulder far enough that she can look him in the eyes. It's easy to make jokes with Abbacchio about the mafia, to laugh when he says he's a thug and not a robin hood, but hearing Mista say something like "still in prison" brings the whole thing a new sense of clarity.
If something hadn't happened for Mista, he would've been in prison, or dead. Prison isn't so far off from what happened to her, either — the isolation, the inability to leave, the frustration at the circumstances that aligned to bring her there. Mista could've suffered like that, too, but for something that prevented it. The thought makes her shiver a little, as she raises a hand to rest soft against his cheek.]
I wouldn't like my life here nearly as much if you weren't a part of it.
[ He was suddenly very aware of how she felt against him, pink rising to his cheeks as she rested her hand on his face. Things had started out so heavy that it almost felt like it was wrong to notice how cute she was right now, how warm her fingers were against his cheek.
Deflect, that was the best way to handle it, right? There was a faint chuckle from him, hand slipping away from her hair to rest between her shoulder blades. ]
H-hey, come on, you'd probably still be having a good time if I wasn't here. You'd still have everyone else, right?
[It's sort of fun (and maybe a little mean) to watch the color rise to Mista's cheeks the way that it does when he starts to get flustered. But her intent really isn't to fluster him, and the more that she mulls over it (what's happening, what he says, how he stammers, how he looks), the more she decides to just...]
Hey, Mista.
[...be daring.]
If I promised that you didn't have to be flustered right now...that it was okay, no matter what...what would you do?
[ There was a thoughtful sound from him, closing his eyes to try and pull his focus back in before answering. ]
Ah, I guess, I would have to accept it? I mean, it'd depend on what the "no matter what" was, maybe...?
[ He wasn't even sure why he was flustered, the more that the thought on it; he was just providing comfort, right? There wasn't anything weird about it. Definitely not anything weird about it. ]
I just mean...when you pulled me out of the spring a few months ago, you were really confident, you know? I was scared, and probably you were too, but...you were so calm and steady about it. And I really...I really liked that.
[She settles down again, hand slipping from his cheek as she opts to curl against him again, tucking her head back down against his shoulder.]
[ Oh. That was something else, wasn't it? She liked that? Had she not been aware enough to see how much he'd struggled to make sure that he was doing the right thing?
Or had he really not shown it outwardly because he'd been so focused on making sure that she was safe? Somehow the fact that she'd liked that part of him, that resilience, it was enough to make his heart flutter just a little. He let his hand slip down a little farther on her back, fingers tracing over the spot where her wings met her back and then back over some of those scars. ]
You don't make me nervous, I make me nervous...
[ Idle thoughts out loud, said as he closed his eyes and sank back just a little. ]
...I'm not used to this kind of thing, you know? The last few months have been...well...
[ There it was, another round of stilted laughter. ]
...I probably could have made time for things like this back home, but I never really did, you know? So just now I had a thought that I could kiss you, but I wasn't really sure it was the right thing to do. Does that make sense?
[ Christ. ]
The more I talk, the more stupid it sounds, I think.
[She breathes in slowly, like a reverse sigh, when she feels his fingers skim over her back. It's a little unusual to feel direct contact there, still; normally there are at least a few layers of fabric in-between, but it's not bad, just different. It's nice to have a memory attached to them that isn't just the terror and pain of a knife. Now, along with it, she'll have the memory of Mista's fingers tracing slowly around the edges, learning the patterns they make by touch alone.]
And it's definitely not stupid to ask. I'm not saying you should just think of me as somebody to practice on, but...
[That thought actually does get a little laugh out of her, a rumble of a chuckle that she presses against his neck.]
Nobody starts out just knowing what to do, you know? I sure didn't. You want to hear about all the dumb things I did to try to impress a boy I liked back when I was alive? I could tell you so many stories.
I guess what I'm saying is...you're not going to mess it up. Not with me. So if that's something that's making you nervous, don't be.
Hmmm? Nah, you don't have to tell me anything like that, I don't want to be nosy or anything. You've got it though...
[ The laughing against his neck was warm, a slight tickle to his skin as he felt it. ]
...I don't want to freak you out or end up making things weird, so yeah, I'm worried about messing something up. Besides, you could do better than me, I think. At least when it comes to kissing...
[ He's thinking about it too much now, not able to push some of his thoughts away quite as easily as he wanted to. Why not rely on self-deprecation? ]
Oh, come on. How about the time there was this boy who I'd heard only liked tall girls, so I started wearing platform shoes all the time? I thought I was sooooo smart, pulling that off, but then I just kept tripping over my own feet all the time — and it turned out he didn't even care whether a girl was tall anyway!
[She rubs her cheek against his shoulder, affectionate and nuzzling in an almost catlike way. It's Cordis, and her scent is starting to permeate the air along with her lightening mood, lending the faint tang of citrus to the surrounding vicinity.]
You really think you'd freak me out, huh...well, okay. How? What do you think would scare me so bad?
[ That story drew a genuine laugh from Mista, flush rising to his cheeks again as her face connected with his shoulder. He hadn't noticed at first that something in the air had changed, catching the scent and relishing it with a deep breath. Was that her? He'd noticed that she smelled nice before, but he hadn't realised just how nice.
That question, though, he could think of plenty of answers to give her and none of them were really very appropriate for conversation. So he swallowed, closing his eyes as he pulled his hand away from her back and up to rest on the back of her head. ]
...I just mean, not like I'm going to scare you but I'm starting to get just how intense some of this stuff really gets. What if I take something too far or I don't know how to stop? Things like that.
[ He couldn't tell her why he was so concerned about it, how lost he could get in the moment and absolutely feel like the option to stop was out of his hands. And he absolutely couldn't tell her that he was worried about becoming noticeably aroused, there was absolutely no way that was going to come out of his mouth. Even as he waffled for a better answer he found himself shifting, his face against her hair as he took in another deep breath. The soft huff of laughter was unintentional, fingers pulling gently through her hair. ]
You smell really nice.
[ So much for not making it weird, but it was another thing that he would have to stand by. ]
Yeah...that's Cordis for you. I don't really mind much, I guess. It smells nice to me, too, but I get used to it after a while.
[Still. She'd be doing him a disservice, she realizes gradually, if she were to just brush off his concerns and reassure him blindly that she doesn't believe something like that would ever happen. He would know himself best, after all. Right? So to ignore him, and not listen to what he's trying to tell her...
No. She's got to think about it, and really think about it, before she even starts to think about answering him. That's the only right way to go about it.
So when she speaks, she speaks carefully.]
I don't think you're the sort of person who could ignore someone telling you to stop. I don't think even Sanguis could make you that sort of person. But if I try to tell you to ignore those feelings you're having, or talk you out of them...then in a way, I'm the one ignoring someone telling me to stop, aren't I? So I get it. I'm not going to try to push you.
[...]
But just the same, if you want to kiss me, you can.
[ He found himself wondering how anyone could get used to a scent like that, something so pleasant it was almost intoxicating. He considered her own response carefully, taking in a breath before bringing one of his hands to her chin to try and angle her face upwards. ]
...I do want to kiss you.
[ That murmur as he shifted, leaning in just enough to press a kiss to her forehead. And then the tip of her nose, that is if she allowed it. Even if she said it was okay, there was still a part of him that was irrevocably afraid of making a mistake.
There was even a thought to tell her that he might be better at it now, he’d had some practice but even Mista knew that was something you just didn’t say. ]
[She loves it, secretly, when boys do that — just lightly tap beneath her chin, lift her face up. It's such a small and subtle thing, but there's something so sweetly romantic about it that she can't help but enjoy it, whenever it happens.
Her expression is soft as she looks at Mista, as his admission washes over her like warm sunlight. She's smiling without even realizing it, charmed by his frank, genuine nature and his gentle honesty, and as he leans in to press his kisses against her forehead and nose, she lets her eyes fall shut, relishing the feeling of it.]
[ Her laugh was met with one of his own, one more shift down to place a gentle kiss against her lips. ]
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you deserve a lot more than this. I'm probably the one that should be asking you the same thing, you've been so good to me since we met and I don't think...
[ Shit, he couldn't help himself, another light kiss as he rested his forehead against hers. ]
...shit, I don't know what to think, really. I just feel really lucky that I got to meet someone like you, you know?
[ What was it about her right now? He'd always been able to recognise that she was pretty, but right now it felt like it was amplified tenfold. Was it because of Cordis? Or was it because of their proximity? Perhaps a little bit of both, either way he felt himself pulling in for another kiss. Still light, but lingering there for just a little longer.
She was soft and she smelled nice, how was he supposed to resist just one more? ]
[He's getting more daring, and she discovers quickly just how much she likes that. It's not fast, which is nice; it's not like he's kissing her breathless or anything like that. But one kiss is flowing smoothly into another and then another, almost hypnotic in its rhythm, and she really thinks that she could close her eyes and just...let him kiss her all day, if he wanted.]
I dunno, I'm stealing a lot of your kisses...that seems like pretty bad behavior to me.
[Her hand slides up, daring in the way she tugs his hat off a little, reaching underneath to run her fingers through his hair.]
[ He couldn’t help but lean into that touch to his hair, reaching up to pull his hat off the rest of the way and toss it to the side with a soft laugh. He’d promised her before that he would try to wear it less around her anyway, now seemed as a good a time as any to make good on it. ]
I don’t think it counts as stealing if I’m giving them to you, right? And it’s not like I’m going to run out of them...
[ Was this flirting? Is that what he was doing? Even if he thought back on it later, he would have just seen it as more of a natural flow. Just like more of those little kisses that followed his words, all too easy to give to her more and more. ]
Or maybe we’re both stealing them from each other? Does it work that way?
[ A kiss to the corner of her mouth, then a gentle trail over her jawline now that he was feeling a little bolder. ]
Wouldn't that be awful, if you really did run out? Oh, no, all the kisses are used up, there just aren't any more left, it's terrible...
[If it wasn't flirting before, it certainly is now — but the laid-back, easy variety that feels as much like banter between friends as it does something more emotionally charged. And she likes that, just like she likes his little exploratory kisses, and the way that she can sink her fingers properly into his hair now that he's taken his hat off.]
You're a real goof, you know that? And I must be one, too, so we're two of a kind.
[ God, how he loved the feel of her fingers in his hair, stopping that chain of kisses to properly appreciate the pleasant shudder that moved down his spine. ]
It would be pretty awful to run out, but we can make the best of it while we can, right? And if it means that we're having fun together, then it doesn't matter if either one of us are goofs...
[ He was emboldened by the playful tone that was being set, lips coming back up to claim hers again for something that lasted even longer; something needier than before and somehow still terribly delicate. It was nice being like this, but he didn't want to push it too much, not when he could chance it and see what step she would take next.
Even if it was like this for just a little bit longer, he wouldn't mind so long as a smile would still grace those lips. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Wise beyond her years but still a tragic figure. It was enough to make him think about his own past, things that had brought him to where he was now and how things had played out back home. ]
I would either be dead or still in prison, if it weren't for someone intervening...
[ It was true the more that he thought about it. He could have died that night that he stepped in to help that girl, he could have just been left in prison to rot if Bucciarati hadn't seen something in him worth redeeming. He could have died there too, the possibilities were endless and he felt his chest tighten with anxiety as he considered just how she felt, there were so many more unknown factors for her... ]
...if it'd been the other things, I mean. I don't want to say that I'm glad anything happened to you, what he did makes me sick to my stomach and you didn't deserve it. But for what it's worth, I'm glad to have met you too, you know?
no subject
[She stays burrowed against him a little longer, but then eventually draws back from his shoulder far enough that she can look him in the eyes. It's easy to make jokes with Abbacchio about the mafia, to laugh when he says he's a thug and not a robin hood, but hearing Mista say something like "still in prison" brings the whole thing a new sense of clarity.
If something hadn't happened for Mista, he would've been in prison, or dead. Prison isn't so far off from what happened to her, either — the isolation, the inability to leave, the frustration at the circumstances that aligned to bring her there. Mista could've suffered like that, too, but for something that prevented it. The thought makes her shiver a little, as she raises a hand to rest soft against his cheek.]
I wouldn't like my life here nearly as much if you weren't a part of it.
no subject
Deflect, that was the best way to handle it, right? There was a faint chuckle from him, hand slipping away from her hair to rest between her shoulder blades. ]
H-hey, come on, you'd probably still be having a good time if I wasn't here. You'd still have everyone else, right?
[ Oh yes, expertly handled. ]
no subject
[It's sort of fun (and maybe a little mean) to watch the color rise to Mista's cheeks the way that it does when he starts to get flustered. But her intent really isn't to fluster him, and the more that she mulls over it (what's happening, what he says, how he stammers, how he looks), the more she decides to just...]
Hey, Mista.
[...be daring.]
If I promised that you didn't have to be flustered right now...that it was okay, no matter what...what would you do?
no subject
Ah, I guess, I would have to accept it? I mean, it'd depend on what the "no matter what" was, maybe...?
[ He wasn't even sure why he was flustered, the more that the thought on it; he was just providing comfort, right? There wasn't anything weird about it. Definitely not anything weird about it. ]
no subject
[She settles down again, hand slipping from his cheek as she opts to curl against him again, tucking her head back down against his shoulder.]
I'm sorry if I make you nervous. I don't mean to.
no subject
Or had he really not shown it outwardly because he'd been so focused on making sure that she was safe? Somehow the fact that she'd liked that part of him, that resilience, it was enough to make his heart flutter just a little. He let his hand slip down a little farther on her back, fingers tracing over the spot where her wings met her back and then back over some of those scars. ]
You don't make me nervous, I make me nervous...
[ Idle thoughts out loud, said as he closed his eyes and sank back just a little. ]
...I'm not used to this kind of thing, you know? The last few months have been...well...
[ There it was, another round of stilted laughter. ]
...I probably could have made time for things like this back home, but I never really did, you know? So just now I had a thought that I could kiss you, but I wasn't really sure it was the right thing to do. Does that make sense?
[ Christ. ]
The more I talk, the more stupid it sounds, I think.
no subject
[She breathes in slowly, like a reverse sigh, when she feels his fingers skim over her back. It's a little unusual to feel direct contact there, still; normally there are at least a few layers of fabric in-between, but it's not bad, just different. It's nice to have a memory attached to them that isn't just the terror and pain of a knife. Now, along with it, she'll have the memory of Mista's fingers tracing slowly around the edges, learning the patterns they make by touch alone.]
And it's definitely not stupid to ask. I'm not saying you should just think of me as somebody to practice on, but...
[That thought actually does get a little laugh out of her, a rumble of a chuckle that she presses against his neck.]
Nobody starts out just knowing what to do, you know? I sure didn't. You want to hear about all the dumb things I did to try to impress a boy I liked back when I was alive? I could tell you so many stories.
I guess what I'm saying is...you're not going to mess it up. Not with me. So if that's something that's making you nervous, don't be.
no subject
[ The laughing against his neck was warm, a slight tickle to his skin as he felt it. ]
...I don't want to freak you out or end up making things weird, so yeah, I'm worried about messing something up. Besides, you could do better than me, I think. At least when it comes to kissing...
[ He's thinking about it too much now, not able to push some of his thoughts away quite as easily as he wanted to. Why not rely on self-deprecation? ]
no subject
[She rubs her cheek against his shoulder, affectionate and nuzzling in an almost catlike way. It's Cordis, and her scent is starting to permeate the air along with her lightening mood, lending the faint tang of citrus to the surrounding vicinity.]
You really think you'd freak me out, huh...well, okay. How? What do you think would scare me so bad?
no subject
That question, though, he could think of plenty of answers to give her and none of them were really very appropriate for conversation. So he swallowed, closing his eyes as he pulled his hand away from her back and up to rest on the back of her head. ]
...I just mean, not like I'm going to scare you but I'm starting to get just how intense some of this stuff really gets. What if I take something too far or I don't know how to stop? Things like that.
[ He couldn't tell her why he was so concerned about it, how lost he could get in the moment and absolutely feel like the option to stop was out of his hands. And he absolutely couldn't tell her that he was worried about becoming noticeably aroused, there was absolutely no way that was going to come out of his mouth. Even as he waffled for a better answer he found himself shifting, his face against her hair as he took in another deep breath. The soft huff of laughter was unintentional, fingers pulling gently through her hair. ]
You smell really nice.
[ So much for not making it weird, but it was another thing that he would have to stand by. ]
no subject
[Still. She'd be doing him a disservice, she realizes gradually, if she were to just brush off his concerns and reassure him blindly that she doesn't believe something like that would ever happen. He would know himself best, after all. Right? So to ignore him, and not listen to what he's trying to tell her...
No. She's got to think about it, and really think about it, before she even starts to think about answering him. That's the only right way to go about it.
So when she speaks, she speaks carefully.]
I don't think you're the sort of person who could ignore someone telling you to stop. I don't think even Sanguis could make you that sort of person. But if I try to tell you to ignore those feelings you're having, or talk you out of them...then in a way, I'm the one ignoring someone telling me to stop, aren't I? So I get it. I'm not going to try to push you.
[...]
But just the same, if you want to kiss me, you can.
no subject
...I do want to kiss you.
[ That murmur as he shifted, leaning in just enough to press a kiss to her forehead. And then the tip of her nose, that is if she allowed it. Even if she said it was okay, there was still a part of him that was irrevocably afraid of making a mistake.
There was even a thought to tell her that he might be better at it now, he’d had some practice but even Mista knew that was something you just didn’t say. ]
no subject
Her expression is soft as she looks at Mista, as his admission washes over her like warm sunlight. She's smiling without even realizing it, charmed by his frank, genuine nature and his gentle honesty, and as he leans in to press his kisses against her forehead and nose, she lets her eyes fall shut, relishing the feeling of it.]
You're awfully nice to me, Guido Mista.
[She laughs softly; it's a sweet, easy sound.]
Are you sure I deserve how nice you are to me?
no subject
Yeah, I'm pretty sure you deserve a lot more than this. I'm probably the one that should be asking you the same thing, you've been so good to me since we met and I don't think...
[ Shit, he couldn't help himself, another light kiss as he rested his forehead against hers. ]
...shit, I don't know what to think, really. I just feel really lucky that I got to meet someone like you, you know?
[ What was it about her right now? He'd always been able to recognise that she was pretty, but right now it felt like it was amplified tenfold. Was it because of Cordis? Or was it because of their proximity? Perhaps a little bit of both, either way he felt himself pulling in for another kiss. Still light, but lingering there for just a little longer.
She was soft and she smelled nice, how was he supposed to resist just one more? ]
no subject
[He's getting more daring, and she discovers quickly just how much she likes that. It's not fast, which is nice; it's not like he's kissing her breathless or anything like that. But one kiss is flowing smoothly into another and then another, almost hypnotic in its rhythm, and she really thinks that she could close her eyes and just...let him kiss her all day, if he wanted.]
I dunno, I'm stealing a lot of your kisses...that seems like pretty bad behavior to me.
[Her hand slides up, daring in the way she tugs his hat off a little, reaching underneath to run her fingers through his hair.]
Don't you think so?
no subject
I don’t think it counts as stealing if I’m giving them to you, right? And it’s not like I’m going to run out of them...
[ Was this flirting? Is that what he was doing? Even if he thought back on it later, he would have just seen it as more of a natural flow. Just like more of those little kisses that followed his words, all too easy to give to her more and more. ]
Or maybe we’re both stealing them from each other? Does it work that way?
[ A kiss to the corner of her mouth, then a gentle trail over her jawline now that he was feeling a little bolder. ]
no subject
[If it wasn't flirting before, it certainly is now — but the laid-back, easy variety that feels as much like banter between friends as it does something more emotionally charged. And she likes that, just like she likes his little exploratory kisses, and the way that she can sink her fingers properly into his hair now that he's taken his hat off.]
You're a real goof, you know that? And I must be one, too, so we're two of a kind.
no subject
It would be pretty awful to run out, but we can make the best of it while we can, right? And if it means that we're having fun together, then it doesn't matter if either one of us are goofs...
[ He was emboldened by the playful tone that was being set, lips coming back up to claim hers again for something that lasted even longer; something needier than before and somehow still terribly delicate. It was nice being like this, but he didn't want to push it too much, not when he could chance it and see what step she would take next.
Even if it was like this for just a little bit longer, he wouldn't mind so long as a smile would still grace those lips. ]