[ Oh. That’s a lot to unpack there. There’s a little bit before he finally responds. ]
it’s different if you know what you’re going back to and if you accept it i’ll do my best not to worry i can’t promise that i won’t be upset and i might still worry a little because that’s what you do when you care about people and i mean i like you a lot so like i said no promises
Abbacchio told me I'm from two years before you guys. The time you remember, I mean. So I decided, I'm going to wait for him. And he's going to come find me, too. That's a pretty good plan, right...?
Anyway, the thing is...
It's just that, I don't want to make you sad, and that's why this is hard. But I like you a lot, too, and...I think, I think I would like it if you knew...what happened to me. What I was doing before I came here.
It doesn't have to be right now. I know this probably isn't a great time — it's probably terrible! But just, I trust you, so...so if you want to know, I'll tell you, I guess is what I mean. If you want to know that about me. There aren't many people who do.
hey yeah that sounds like a really good plan but you shouldn’t have to worry about me either it really means a lot that you would trust me enough to share something important so when i say anytime i really do mean it and i definitely want to know but it’s gotta be on your terms whenever you’re ready to tell me, i’m ready to hear it even if it’s like 5 minutes from now okay?
Yeah...yeah, okay. Then I think...I'm going to tell you now, so I don't lose my courage.
I know you know I'm a ghost, you've seen me turn spooky before and walk through walls and stuff. And...the reason why I'm a ghost is because when I was sixteen, a boy from my school broke into my house and killed my family, my dog, and me.
He saved me for last, because I was the one he really wanted. The only reason he killed my parents and Arnold is so that I'd be alone. So that...there wouldn't be anyone left to interrupt, or to help me. I was the one he was after.
Lately, when Cordis happens, I've been getting butterfly wings, and everybody says they suit me. But it's hard, and I don't really like them, because they come out of my back and that means I can't cover it up. And that's...where the scars are. From...
Just. I didn't...you know, die right away. It took him a while. So my back...it's really messed up.
[ If he thought her previous messages had been a lot to unpack, he wasn’t even sure how to describe this. Impossible to unpack? The descriptor didn’t matter; what did matter was that for the first time since he’d been left alone in this flat, he was glad that he was alone.
There was no one around to see him, the expression on his face that conveyed nothing but silent rage as he read the message over again. Where to begin? ]
holy shit reimi i’m so sorry i really did know that something had happened but i didn’t think it would be something like that i don’t think there’s anything i can say to make you feel better or actually reassure you but think about it the same way you started with you already know what happens and you said you’re fine with it and i’m not saying it’ll be easy but maybe you need to try not worrying about it it’s gonna sound stupid or cheesy or like i’m not taking this seriously but i promise i am you aren’t your scars you’re you and you’re pretty and smart and generous it seems a little stupid now that i typed it out but i’m not gonna take it back
[ there’s a long break before the next message ]
please tell me someone killed that fucker because if they didn’t i’ll find a way to do it
You know...it's dumb, but one of the things that gives me a lot of courage is the way that Abbacchio wears open shirts even though he has that big scar. He's so brave about it, he doesn't care what anyone thinks and he doesn't let it stop him.
I think it'd be nice to be like that someday. To wear something with an open back just because I wanted to, not because of Cordis or anything. But I just...I just can't. I don't want to. It'll just upset people, and I don't want that.
Sometimes I think what bothers me most is that...it feels like when he killed me, he took away everything except that. I don't think anybody remembers me back home, except as Reimi the girl who was murdered. We're a pretty small town, and it was in all the papers. But that's one of the reasons why I don't always tell people. I'm not ashamed of being a ghost, or even of what happened. But I want to be more to people than just...that.
[She can guess exactly why he goes so quiet. She can guess all too well. And even though it's text, and there's no tone or inflection inherent in the text, there's still a definite change in mood between what she's said before and what she types next, separate from the last.]
I did it, Mista. I heard him get dragged to hell where he belongs. Right at the end, I took away the one thing he wanted most. And I don't regret it, and I'd do it again.
good, he got what he deserved then if it's for the safety of yourself or even those you care about you can't have regrets when it comes to things like that you're stronger for it, i don't think i said it before when i listed things but you're definitely strong
[ he wanted to address that first, another pause between messages before he went on ]
if you want the truth he was like that before he died too, at least from what i remember but i think he's a good guy for you to look up to
i hope you know that you're more than that to me and the rest of us too, i'd be willing to bet to me you're just reimi, which doesn't sound great when i put it that way but it's really a good thing you helped me out when i needed it, the pistols too so you're way more than just another girl that died or a ghost story
have you thought about just trying to get comfortable with someone you know first? i mean with something you wear and then i don't know branch out you already know abbacchio's gotta deal with the same thing so you could wear something you want around him if it'd make you feel better if you can make it hanging out a day with him, then try someone else i'd offer but i don't want you to feel like i'm trying to push you or anything
what i'm saying is start small and then work your way up and if some people can't accept you for you then all you gotta do is point and i'll kick their ass, got it?
I get worried sometimes, you know. Because he's dead and gone, but I'm dead too and I still wound up here. Abbacchio is dead and he remembers heaven and they still brought him here. So...it could still happen, I guess. That monster could still turn up here, someday. But this time I'm ready for him. He'll be sorry if he ever does show up. I hope he doesn't.
And...actually, I...
You wouldn't be pushing me. If I do that, and...I think I want to, then you're the one I want to be with me. Is...is that okay?
if he does ever show up you’re not alone, okay? you’re not gonna have to do any of it alone again not if we have anything to say about it
[ and how quickly that seething subsides with that last message, mista staring at it but not hesitating to respond right away ]
yeah!! i mean of course it’s okay i just wouldn’t ever assume that i would be the first choice for something so important i’ll be here for you when you want to try okay?
I gave Abbacchio pictures of the guy's two faces. He said if he knows what someone looks like or what to look for, then Moody Blues can find him. And Rohan and Josuke have fought him before, so...they know what to do, too.
But if he does ever come here, and he finds out about me, he'll have to come after me. I'm the biggest threat in the world to his quiet life, because I'm the proof of what he is and what he does.
[Which is, in truth, yet another reason why she wouldn't consider getting rid of her scars, even if she had the option to. From the most mercenary point of view, it would be tampering with evidence.]
Well...I trust you, you know? And it's more than just that. I...
You make me feel safe whenever you're around. So I know I'd feel safe, even doing something like that, because you were there with me.
i’ll see if he can show me then i don’t want you to have to look at it if you don’t need to but with the support system you’ve got here he’d really have to watch his ass
[ a mental note, she’s so strong and it’s admirable but the fact that she trusts him so much adds so much more than that, he wasn’t sure what that feeling was but he didn’t mind it one bit ]
if you feel that safe it means i’m doing something right that’s enough for me
Just, I'll tell you the same thing I told Abbacchio, about it. If that ever happens, listen to Rohan. Okay? I mean...if it comes down to it, or whatever happens. Whatever Rohan says is what I would want, too.
I know he's...hard to get along with. And kind of overprotective of me. But I think...if it came to dealing with that monster, you guys would all get along fine, just to get rid of him.
I'll be here, I'm not going anywhere!
And...I do have wings today, so. Don't be surprised when you see them, I guess?
[ Shit it was cordis wasn’t it? It wasn’t going to stop him, though, not when she needed the company. Or wanted the company? He wasn’t sure which it was but ultimately it didn’t matter at all.
There was an idle thought as he cleaned up, one that nagged him all the way out the door. It was enough to make him stop and pick up one thing on the way. He didn’t particularly think about the way that it looked, just the idea behind it as he knocked on her door with a small bunch of flowers in his hand.
Once she opened the door she would be faced with a wide-eyed Mista, one hand casually placed in his pocket as he held out his offering. ]
I didn’t know if it was just the wings so I thought...butterflies like flowers right? Or...shit, I should have looked it up.
[When she'd opened the door, she'd been expecting Mista. What she had not been expecting was Mista bearing a bouquet of flowers, nor the absurdist yet somehow incredibly charming rationale he'd apparently used in getting them for her.
Ostensibly because of butterflies or not, a boy brought her flowers. Just because. Just from thinking of her. And isn't that something?
The shirt she's wearing, to all appearances, is a normal thick sweater with a turtleneck; however, given that behind her the outer edges of her pink monarch butterfly wings are visible and extended, it's apparent that there's no back on the shirt in question, leaving them free to move. And she's deliberate in how she positions herself, angling so that he can't see too much of her back yet, but that's only to be expected, probably.]
Oh...!
[Startled and yet immensely pleased, she flushes a little as she takes the bouquet, automatically raising it to her nose to smell the fragrance.]
No...it's okay. I like flowers, butterfly or not.
[Her wings flutter a little, as if in affirmation, and it makes her look like even more of a pixie than ever.]
[ Oh hell, that was cute, watching her wings flutter that way. The way that she flushed was enough for him to realise the implications of bringing a girl flowers. She seemed happy, though, there was no way he was going to tell her he'd thought that she might want to eat them.
Did butterflies eat flowers? He wasn't sure, really, he didn't know much about them beyond the fact that they flew around and looked pretty. ]
A-ah, good, I thought I should bring something since you invited me over and everything...
[ He did notice the sweater, but he didn't try to look past her just yet. Her comfort level, that's what was important here. He was deeply flushed himself now, very aware that people were right and the wings did suit her. His hand came up to the back of his neck as he shifted his weight. ]
...they're really pretty. Your wings, I mean, not the flowers!
Aw, you didn't have to do that just for a visit! But I really like them, let me find a vase or something to put them in.
[Luckily, she's got one sitting on one of the end tables, so it's pretty easy to shuffle over and slide the bouquet in. Mista might recognize it, or at least guess where it came from — it's clearly blown glass from Amegahara.
When she turns her attention back to him, however, there's a light flush on her cheeks again, and her wings beat the air properly this time.]
...You think so? They're a lot easier to deal with this time! Last month they kept shedding clouds of this really troublesome stuff...even I couldn't touch it without having a problem.
[No she is NOT going to say "aphrodisiac" in front of Guido Mista. Nope. No chance.]
S-So, um. Maybe...we can sit down, and then when I...I mean, if you're really sure about seeing...the, the scars...
[ There was a pause as he thought about that, not sure what to make of butterfly wings and clouds. ]
Like the powdery stuff on them or something else?
[ Yes, for the love of god please don't say aphrodisiac in front of him. There was yet another shift of his weight as he stepped in, more noticeably nervous now that he wasn't just going to be hanging out in the doorway. ]
Yeah, yeah, definitely! We can sit if you want to, I promise I'm sure I want to see them but like I said before you have to be ready too, you know? I'm not gonna make you show me if you're not comfortable yet. Small steps, right?
Yeah, it was...um. It just, it made it really hard to be around people, because I didn't want any of it getting on anyone by mistake. I got some on myself by mistake and it made me feel...
[A beat. She visibly hesitates, running a hand absently through her hair.]
Um, just. Kind of uncomfortable.
[MOVING RIGHT ALONG. Her wings flutter as she moves, little trembling quivers, and when she finally sits down on the couch, it's with her knees pressed tight together and her feet propped up onto her toes, making a flat plane of her thighs to rest her arms on.
The hardest part, she thinks slowly, is that because it's her back, she isn't able to see the look on the person's face when she turns it toward them. She only heard Rohan and Koichi's reactions, never saw them. It's a little bit like the rule of the alley all over again, isn't it? Don't look back, only listen.]
No, I want to do it. I don't want to lose my nerve, I'm just...it's just really bad. And I'm a little scared...
[ He thought maybe he understood the type of uncomfortable, idly chewing on the inside of his lower lip. He’d dealt with his own discomfort from the moons, but he wasn’t going to press the matter further; not if it was anything like he’d experienced. ]
You don’t need to be scared, but I get why you would be. I mean, it’s a pretty big deal and...
[ He wasn’t sure how he could make her feel more at ease, worrying even more over his lip before reaching out to rest a hand on her knee. ]
What can I do to make it easier? I could show you some of mine, do you think that would help?
[ Never mind that he’d probably have to take something off, right now his comfort wasn’t important; not even if his chest was thumping just a little harder in his chest. ]
[She glances at him, eyebrows raised, surprised by the admission when really she probably shouldn't be. Why should it be such an unexpected thing, the thought of Mista having a set of scars of his own? And yet somehow the idea of letting him take the lead, of making it an equal thing, really does comfort her in a way she hadn't really anticipated.]
Is that okay? I mean, if you're willing...
[Slowly, her hand comes to rest over his, atop her knee.]
I...think it would help a lot, actually. If you're okay with it.
Yeah, of course! I wouldn’t have offered if it wasn’t okay.
[ That hand on top of his brought a light flush to his cheeks, letting it linger there for a moment before pulling it back and pushing the sleeve up and pointing out a few small ones on his forearm. ]
These are from some of the neighbourhood cats back home, there’s a ton of them out on the streets...
[ Those were nothing and he knew it though, pursing his lips thoughtfully before letting go of his sleeve to go for the front of his sweater. He wasn’t a mess thanks to Giorno, he was grateful for that much but years of fighting and getting shot here and there definitely showed on the skin of his chest. ]
I used to fight a lot, you know? Outside the movie theatre whenever people would talk shit on the way out. Got shot a few times...more than a few times, really.
[ It was said sheepishly, Mista glancing off into the distance. ]
It’d be a lot worse if it hadn’t been for Giorno, so I mean it’s nothing compared to yours but you’re not alone.
[Someone treated Mista's scars, she thinks as her eyes skim over the faint marks left behind on his skin. Maybe it was someone like Josuke, someone Mista had and trusted to help keep him safe, so that even something as terrible as getting shot only seemed like a temporary grievance, rather than a life-threatening one. And when he mentions Giorno, that only confirms it — so he did have someone with him, when he'd gotten those scars. No wonder he misses him so much. It must be hard, being used to relying on someone like that and then suddenly not having them anymore.
(If she'd had to do this without Rohan, or if Abbacchio were to be the next to disappear — no, she wouldn't handle it well, either, would she.)
But it helps, that he'd done this for her. He's made her feel more comfortable, made this into a mutual thing instead of a personal confession.
It's her turn, now.]
I wish I'd had someone like Giorno. Well...I did, eventually. It just took a while before he found me.
[As she speaks, she angles her body away from him, turning her back more fully toward him before taking the final step and folding her wings in, no longer keeping them extended to help obscure the flat planes of her back.
It's not just one scar, left there by the blade of Kira Yoshikage's knife. There are at least a dozen of them ripped into her skin, some narrower and flatter where the knife sunk deep in, others jagged and wider from a more reckless swipe of the blade. Each and every one of them is, without a doubt, disfiguring; some are thick and raised, others concave and off-color around the edges.
Just the sight of them tells a gruesome story. Kira had gotten cleaner and neater with his killing as he'd grown older, more refined and more professional in accomplishing his terrible aims. But he'd been young when he'd killed her, and she'd been his first — at a glance alone, the scarring makes it apparent that there had been very little finesse in what he'd done to her.
There, too, is the evidence of a struggle. The first one hadn't killed her. The second one hadn't, either. She doesn't remember how many it took; maybe that's only to be expected. She doesn't remember much of anything from that moment, except that it hurt more than anything in the world, and the carpet had scratched her cheek, and she'd prayed and prayed that Rohan wouldn't cry and make a sound.
Her shoulders are shaking, wings trembling. It shouldn't be so hard, doing this. But it leaves her feeling raw and vulnerable anyway, eyes closed and chin low, and she doesn't even realize that she's holding her breath until her lungs start to burn, wobbling on a tightrope of anticipation for Mista's reaction, whatever it might end up being.]
Nah, these all happened before Giorno, everything he helped with didn't leave any--
[ He hadn't expected her to turn right away, for her to be comfortable to quickly that she would show him without question. She'd said that it was bad and truly he hadn't known what she'd meant by that and his breath caught in the back of his throat as he let his shirt drop back down over his chest.
It felt like there was too much for him to look at, his initial reaction one the same as when he'd read what had happened the first time. Seeing it was something completely different, almost feeling like he should be counting them and not wanting to at the same time. He remained breathless, distracted only when he noticed the trembling of her shoulders and that faint twitch of her wings. He hadn't realised he was doing it, reaching out to touch her back and trail his fingers over some of them; his chest tightening when he considered that it was something she might not be okay with.
Still, he didn't want to pull his hand back, at least not suddenly. He was afraid that she would get the wrong idea, that he was repulsed by what he was seeing and the truth was so far from that. She had endured so much, she had suffered and he felt a cold chill go down his spine the longer that he thought about it. Still he found himself letting those digits of his pull over her skin slowly, delicately before he pulled his hand away. ]
...Reimi...I...
[ He wanted to hold her, to try and comfort the way that she was shaking and to help put a cap on that apprehension that was coming off of her in waves. He wanted to cry for her, or with her, whatever she needed; she deserved to have someone be with her in this moment. Probably someone better than him, but he was what she had right now. ]
...christ, I'm so sorry. I...
[ He furrowed his brow, swallowing before speaking again and reaching out to rest his hand on her shoulder. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
it’s different if you know what you’re going back to
and if you accept it i’ll do my best not to worry
i can’t promise that i won’t be upset
and i might still worry a little
because that’s what you do when you care about people
and i mean i like you a lot
so like i said no promises
no subject
Anyway, the thing is...
It's just that, I don't want to make you sad, and that's why this is hard. But I like you a lot, too, and...I think, I think I would like it if you knew...what happened to me. What I was doing before I came here.
It doesn't have to be right now. I know this probably isn't a great time — it's probably terrible! But just, I trust you, so...so if you want to know, I'll tell you, I guess is what I mean. If you want to know that about me. There aren't many people who do.
no subject
but you shouldn’t have to worry about me either
it really means a lot that you would trust me enough
to share something important so when i say anytime
i really do mean it
and i definitely want to know but it’s gotta be on your terms
whenever you’re ready to tell me, i’m ready to hear it
even if it’s like 5 minutes from now
okay?
no subject
Then I think...I'm going to tell you now, so I don't lose my courage.
I know you know I'm a ghost, you've seen me turn spooky before and walk through walls and stuff. And...the reason why I'm a ghost is because when I was sixteen, a boy from my school broke into my house and killed my family, my dog, and me.
He saved me for last, because I was the one he really wanted. The only reason he killed my parents and Arnold is so that I'd be alone. So that...there wouldn't be anyone left to interrupt, or to help me. I was the one he was after.
Lately, when Cordis happens, I've been getting butterfly wings, and everybody says they suit me. But it's hard, and I don't really like them, because they come out of my back and that means I can't cover it up. And that's...where the scars are. From...
Just. I didn't...you know, die right away. It took him a while. So my back...it's really messed up.
lmk if any of this doesn’t work!
There was no one around to see him, the expression on his face that conveyed nothing but silent rage as he read the message over again. Where to begin? ]
holy shit reimi
i’m so sorry
i really did know that something had happened but i didn’t think it would be something like that
i don’t think there’s anything i can say to make you feel better or actually reassure you
but think about it the same way you started with
you already know what happens and you said you’re fine with it
and i’m not saying it’ll be easy but maybe you need to try not worrying about it
it’s gonna sound stupid or cheesy or like i’m not taking this seriously but i promise i am
you aren’t your scars
you’re you and you’re pretty and smart
and generous
it seems a little stupid now that i typed it out but i’m not gonna take it back
[ there’s a long break before the next message ]
please tell me someone killed that fucker
because if they didn’t i’ll find a way to do it
no subject
I think it'd be nice to be like that someday. To wear something with an open back just because I wanted to, not because of Cordis or anything. But I just...I just can't. I don't want to. It'll just upset people, and I don't want that.
Sometimes I think what bothers me most is that...it feels like when he killed me, he took away everything except that. I don't think anybody remembers me back home, except as Reimi the girl who was murdered. We're a pretty small town, and it was in all the papers. But that's one of the reasons why I don't always tell people. I'm not ashamed of being a ghost, or even of what happened. But I want to be more to people than just...that.
[She can guess exactly why he goes so quiet. She can guess all too well. And even though it's text, and there's no tone or inflection inherent in the text, there's still a definite change in mood between what she's said before and what she types next, separate from the last.]
I did it, Mista.
I heard him get dragged to hell where he belongs.
Right at the end, I took away the one thing he wanted most.
And I don't regret it, and I'd do it again.
no subject
if it's for the safety of yourself or even those you care about
you can't have regrets when it comes to things like that
you're stronger for it, i don't think i said it before when i listed things
but you're definitely strong
[ he wanted to address that first, another pause between messages before he went on ]
if you want the truth he was like that before he died too, at least from what i remember but i think he's a good guy for you to look up to
i hope you know that you're more than that to me
and the rest of us too, i'd be willing to bet
to me you're just reimi, which doesn't sound great when i put it that way
but it's really a good thing
you helped me out when i needed it, the pistols too
so you're way more than just another girl that died or a ghost story
have you thought about just trying to get comfortable with someone you know first?
i mean with something you wear and then i don't know branch out
you already know abbacchio's gotta deal with the same thing so you could wear something you want around him if it'd make you feel better
if you can make it hanging out a day with him, then try someone else
i'd offer but i don't want you to feel like i'm trying to push you or anything
what i'm saying is start small and then work your way up
and if some people can't accept you for you
then all you gotta do is point and i'll kick their ass, got it?
no subject
And...actually, I...
You wouldn't be pushing me.
If I do that, and...I think I want to, then you're the one I want to be with me. Is...is that okay?
no subject
you’re not gonna have to do any of it alone again
not if we have anything to say about it
[ and how quickly that seething subsides with that last message, mista staring at it but not hesitating to respond right away ]
yeah!!
i mean of course it’s okay
i just wouldn’t ever assume that i would be the first choice
for something so important
i’ll be here for you when you want to try okay?
no subject
But if he does ever come here, and he finds out about me, he'll have to come after me. I'm the biggest threat in the world to his quiet life, because I'm the proof of what he is and what he does.
[Which is, in truth, yet another reason why she wouldn't consider getting rid of her scars, even if she had the option to. From the most mercenary point of view, it would be tampering with evidence.]
Well...I trust you, you know? And it's more than just that. I...
You make me feel safe whenever you're around. So I know I'd feel safe, even doing something like that, because you were there with me.
no subject
i don’t want you to have to look at it if you don’t need to
but with the support system you’ve got here he’d really have to watch his ass
[ a mental note, she’s so strong and it’s admirable but the fact that she trusts him so much adds so much more than that, he wasn’t sure what that feeling was but he didn’t mind it one bit ]
if you feel that safe it means i’m doing something right
that’s enough for me
no subject
Just, I'll tell you the same thing I told Abbacchio, about it. If that ever happens, listen to Rohan. Okay? I mean...if it comes down to it, or whatever happens. Whatever Rohan says is what I would want, too.
Hey, um.
Do you...want to come over?
no subject
listen to rohan
[ ugh rohan ]
come over?
like right now?
[ of course she means right now, probably
don’t be stupid ]
yeah sure
just give me about 10 minutes and i’ll be there
no subject
I'll be here, I'm not going anywhere!
And...I do have wings today, so. Don't be surprised when you see them, I guess?
no subject
be there soon
[ Shit it was cordis wasn’t it? It wasn’t going to stop him, though, not when she needed the company. Or wanted the company? He wasn’t sure which it was but ultimately it didn’t matter at all.
There was an idle thought as he cleaned up, one that nagged him all the way out the door. It was enough to make him stop and pick up one thing on the way. He didn’t particularly think about the way that it looked, just the idea behind it as he knocked on her door with a small bunch of flowers in his hand.
Once she opened the door she would be faced with a wide-eyed Mista, one hand casually placed in his pocket as he held out his offering. ]
I didn’t know if it was just the wings so I thought...butterflies like flowers right? Or...shit, I should have looked it up.
no subject
Ostensibly because of butterflies or not, a boy brought her flowers. Just because. Just from thinking of her. And isn't that something?
The shirt she's wearing, to all appearances, is a normal thick sweater with a turtleneck; however, given that behind her the outer edges of her pink monarch butterfly wings are visible and extended, it's apparent that there's no back on the shirt in question, leaving them free to move. And she's deliberate in how she positions herself, angling so that he can't see too much of her back yet, but that's only to be expected, probably.]
Oh...!
[Startled and yet immensely pleased, she flushes a little as she takes the bouquet, automatically raising it to her nose to smell the fragrance.]
No...it's okay. I like flowers, butterfly or not.
[Her wings flutter a little, as if in affirmation, and it makes her look like even more of a pixie than ever.]
no subject
Did butterflies eat flowers? He wasn't sure, really, he didn't know much about them beyond the fact that they flew around and looked pretty. ]
A-ah, good, I thought I should bring something since you invited me over and everything...
[ He did notice the sweater, but he didn't try to look past her just yet. Her comfort level, that's what was important here. He was deeply flushed himself now, very aware that people were right and the wings did suit her. His hand came up to the back of his neck as he shifted his weight. ]
...they're really pretty. Your wings, I mean, not the flowers!
no subject
[Luckily, she's got one sitting on one of the end tables, so it's pretty easy to shuffle over and slide the bouquet in. Mista might recognize it, or at least guess where it came from — it's clearly blown glass from Amegahara.
When she turns her attention back to him, however, there's a light flush on her cheeks again, and her wings beat the air properly this time.]
...You think so? They're a lot easier to deal with this time! Last month they kept shedding clouds of this really troublesome stuff...even I couldn't touch it without having a problem.
[No she is NOT going to say "aphrodisiac" in front of Guido Mista. Nope. No chance.]
S-So, um. Maybe...we can sit down, and then when I...I mean, if you're really sure about seeing...the, the scars...
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[ There was a pause as he thought about that, not sure what to make of butterfly wings and clouds. ]
Like the powdery stuff on them or something else?
[ Yes, for the love of god please don't say aphrodisiac in front of him. There was yet another shift of his weight as he stepped in, more noticeably nervous now that he wasn't just going to be hanging out in the doorway. ]
Yeah, yeah, definitely! We can sit if you want to, I promise I'm sure I want to see them but like I said before you have to be ready too, you know? I'm not gonna make you show me if you're not comfortable yet. Small steps, right?
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[A beat. She visibly hesitates, running a hand absently through her hair.]
Um, just. Kind of uncomfortable.
[MOVING RIGHT ALONG. Her wings flutter as she moves, little trembling quivers, and when she finally sits down on the couch, it's with her knees pressed tight together and her feet propped up onto her toes, making a flat plane of her thighs to rest her arms on.
The hardest part, she thinks slowly, is that because it's her back, she isn't able to see the look on the person's face when she turns it toward them. She only heard Rohan and Koichi's reactions, never saw them. It's a little bit like the rule of the alley all over again, isn't it? Don't look back, only listen.]
No, I want to do it. I don't want to lose my nerve, I'm just...it's just really bad. And I'm a little scared...
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[ He thought maybe he understood the type of uncomfortable, idly chewing on the inside of his lower lip. He’d dealt with his own discomfort from the moons, but he wasn’t going to press the matter further; not if it was anything like he’d experienced. ]
You don’t need to be scared, but I get why you would be. I mean, it’s a pretty big deal and...
[ He wasn’t sure how he could make her feel more at ease, worrying even more over his lip before reaching out to rest a hand on her knee. ]
What can I do to make it easier? I could show you some of mine, do you think that would help?
[ Never mind that he’d probably have to take something off, right now his comfort wasn’t important; not even if his chest was thumping just a little harder in his chest. ]
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Is that okay? I mean, if you're willing...
[Slowly, her hand comes to rest over his, atop her knee.]
I...think it would help a lot, actually. If you're okay with it.
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[ That hand on top of his brought a light flush to his cheeks, letting it linger there for a moment before pulling it back and pushing the sleeve up and pointing out a few small ones on his forearm. ]
These are from some of the neighbourhood cats back home, there’s a ton of them out on the streets...
[ Those were nothing and he knew it though, pursing his lips thoughtfully before letting go of his sleeve to go for the front of his sweater. He wasn’t a mess thanks to Giorno, he was grateful for that much but years of fighting and getting shot here and there definitely showed on the skin of his chest. ]
I used to fight a lot, you know? Outside the movie theatre whenever people would talk shit on the way out. Got shot a few times...more than a few times, really.
[ It was said sheepishly, Mista glancing off into the distance. ]
It’d be a lot worse if it hadn’t been for Giorno, so I mean it’s nothing compared to yours but you’re not alone.
[ He’s trying. ]
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(If she'd had to do this without Rohan, or if Abbacchio were to be the next to disappear — no, she wouldn't handle it well, either, would she.)
But it helps, that he'd done this for her. He's made her feel more comfortable, made this into a mutual thing instead of a personal confession.
It's her turn, now.]
I wish I'd had someone like Giorno. Well...I did, eventually. It just took a while before he found me.
[As she speaks, she angles her body away from him, turning her back more fully toward him before taking the final step and folding her wings in, no longer keeping them extended to help obscure the flat planes of her back.
It's not just one scar, left there by the blade of Kira Yoshikage's knife. There are at least a dozen of them ripped into her skin, some narrower and flatter where the knife sunk deep in, others jagged and wider from a more reckless swipe of the blade. Each and every one of them is, without a doubt, disfiguring; some are thick and raised, others concave and off-color around the edges.
Just the sight of them tells a gruesome story. Kira had gotten cleaner and neater with his killing as he'd grown older, more refined and more professional in accomplishing his terrible aims. But he'd been young when he'd killed her, and she'd been his first — at a glance alone, the scarring makes it apparent that there had been very little finesse in what he'd done to her.
There, too, is the evidence of a struggle. The first one hadn't killed her. The second one hadn't, either. She doesn't remember how many it took; maybe that's only to be expected. She doesn't remember much of anything from that moment, except that it hurt more than anything in the world, and the carpet had scratched her cheek, and she'd prayed and prayed that Rohan wouldn't cry and make a sound.
Her shoulders are shaking, wings trembling. It shouldn't be so hard, doing this. But it leaves her feeling raw and vulnerable anyway, eyes closed and chin low, and she doesn't even realize that she's holding her breath until her lungs start to burn, wobbling on a tightrope of anticipation for Mista's reaction, whatever it might end up being.]
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[ He hadn't expected her to turn right away, for her to be comfortable to quickly that she would show him without question. She'd said that it was bad and truly he hadn't known what she'd meant by that and his breath caught in the back of his throat as he let his shirt drop back down over his chest.
It felt like there was too much for him to look at, his initial reaction one the same as when he'd read what had happened the first time. Seeing it was something completely different, almost feeling like he should be counting them and not wanting to at the same time. He remained breathless, distracted only when he noticed the trembling of her shoulders and that faint twitch of her wings. He hadn't realised he was doing it, reaching out to touch her back and trail his fingers over some of them; his chest tightening when he considered that it was something she might not be okay with.
Still, he didn't want to pull his hand back, at least not suddenly. He was afraid that she would get the wrong idea, that he was repulsed by what he was seeing and the truth was so far from that. She had endured so much, she had suffered and he felt a cold chill go down his spine the longer that he thought about it. Still he found himself letting those digits of his pull over her skin slowly, delicately before he pulled his hand away. ]
...Reimi...I...
[ He wanted to hold her, to try and comfort the way that she was shaking and to help put a cap on that apprehension that was coming off of her in waves. He wanted to cry for her, or with her, whatever she needed; she deserved to have someone be with her in this moment. Probably someone better than him, but he was what she had right now. ]
...christ, I'm so sorry. I...
[ He furrowed his brow, swallowing before speaking again and reaching out to rest his hand on her shoulder. ]
...hey, come here, okay?
[ JUST LET HIM HOLD YOU, GOD. ]
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